Best films of 2009

By Siesta-friendly

The US film award season has passed and has given us time to reflect on some domestic films that depict local happenings and personalities.  Below are synopses of said films.  There being a thin line between fantasy and reality in this country we cannot say whether any or all of the films were actually released at all.  Or even made for that matter.

1. Avasta

In the land of Pandaka, an impaired politician, thrust into leadership through deceit, has fallen in love with her new home and will fight to the death to remain there.

2. Blindsided

A horror film about a well-educated little girl made leader of a nation.  The nation is soon shocked when the little girl transforms into a black hole which sucks anything in its path.

3. Brüsco

Comedy about über assassinista Brüsco Palparan who continuously re-invents himself to prey upon unsuspecting activists.

4. Confessions of a Shootaholic

A musical about hired guns singing all they can for their freedom.

5. Glorious Bastards

A group of Philippine soldiers, commonly known as bastards, spread fear throughout the country by abducting, detaining, raping and brutally killing well-meaning citizens while rewarding themselves left and right for jobs well done.

6. Land of the Lust

Horror flick about a virus known as the Batasan Complex that surrounds the nation’s leaders and turns them into greedy monsters.

7. Public Enemas

About the last few months of the notorious robbers Mike and Gloria Dillinger who so tormented their victims that the latter want nothing more than to purge them out as soon as possible.

8. The Hurt Locker

Suspense-thriller about foreign investors who must learn how to deal with a government where everyone is a potential thief and every deal could just blow up in their face.

9. The Handover

Comedy about that much anticipated moment when a country welcomes a new leader and tries to drink away and forget the past 10 years.

10. Up in the air

Dramedy (what else could it be?) about a group of people struggling to search for a leader.  Despite their ability to hire and fire at will, the group’s welfare and future remains neither here nor there and still very much up in the air.

11. Where the Wildest Things Are

About a place where spoiled brats live and release their wildest nature.  The place has many names, often provincial, like Maguindanao.

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